Classic Dungeons and Dragons and Old School Gaming

D&D etc.

"Heir to a crumbling summit: to a sea of nettles: to an empire of rust: to rituals' footprints ankle-deep in stone."

-Mervyn Peake

"...and that, my liege, is how we know the Earth to be banana shaped."

-Sir Bedevere in Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Saturday, November 1, 2014

Everything you know about halflings is true.

WHAT IF everything you know about halflings is true?

They live underground, and are obsessed with comfort and pipeweed:

they're cannibals that want nothing more than to poke you to death and eat your face:

by this guy in Peru.  I love this picture.

Wait! They're basically regular folks, but smaller and with big hairy feet:

They pretty much don't believe anything you say:

They ride dinosaurs:

Ok, and sometimes goats:
You've probably seen them training and riding around on other things too, dogs, pigs, lammas, etc.  It's all true.

They are weirdly pale with flush red noses:

 They're great climbers:

And they're good at skulking about.  In other words, they make great thieves: 

But some are crafty magic-users:

And some are just barbarians:

Lately they've gotten really into collecting fungus:

Oh, and they're into tattoos.

Got all that?  They're your basic smoking and shrooming albino cannibal pastoral hedonists who love their domesticated critters and the all finer things in life, including yours.


  1. It's been an OSR halfling-fest recently. unfrozencavemandicechucker had a series, as well as a couple other bloggers.
    Mine are a bunch of insular buggers who will snipe at you, go full viet-cong if you try to invade, and put you to work in their asbestos mines if they capture you...

  2. Handling snipers! That's enough to validate adding gunpowder to your game world right there; half-sized sharpshooters with hand cannons twice as tall as they are!

    1. exactly - posted my halfling neighborhood on my blog.